“Should I go to a Meetup group for social anxiety?” I see this question pop up on support forums quite a bit. People worry their anxiety will skyrocket, wonder if it’ll actually help, or aren’t sure what Meetup even is. (It’s a website and app that helps people meet up in person or online around shared interests.)
As someone who used to run in-person Meetup groups for social anxiety, I thought I’d break it all down so you’ll be able to make an informed decision you feel confident about.
Why would someone go to a Meetup group for social anxiety?
That’s an easy one. Groups are actually an ideal way to work through your social anxiety – if you know exactly what to expect and if the format meets your needs.
Here are the biggest pros and cons I’ve seen from running and attending these groups:
✅ Pros:
- A group is a great place to practice exposure to social situations.
- Meeting people who understand what you’re going through can be incredibly reassuring.
- Since everyone “gets it,” it’s a safe space to feel anxious or show anxiety symptoms.
⚠️ Cons:
- Some people might not be ready for exposure yet. Maybe they’re early in recovery, or their anxiety level is just too high.
(Online groups can be a gentler starting point.) - Success depends on the facilitator, format, and attendees.
- The group format might not match your expectations. This can be frustrating, but keeping an open mind and asking questions ahead of time can help. (More on this below.)
What kinds of Meetup groups for social anxiety are there?
Meetups for social anxiety can have a variety formats and it helps to know what you’re signing up for. Meetup itself exists to get people together for a common purpose, whether it’s for fun, learning, support, or personal growth.
Here are the most common types for social anxiety groups:
🎉 Fun Get-Together
A casual event where people meet up for something social – coffee, bowling, hiking, etc. It’s just like any other Meetup group, but all the members happen to have social anxiety.
💬 Support Group
Less common on Meetup overall, but common for social anxiety. Modeled after support groups for grief, illness, or divorce. Typically:
- Led by a facilitator
- Light structure with optional sharing
- May use a “circle” format with discussion prompts
📘 Structured Workshop
Like a class, with a curriculum or progression:
- May include CBT, exposure exercises, and anxiety tools
- Could be led by a peer or a professional (rare on Meetup)
- Requires a commitment over multiple sessions
- Includes time to practice skills in real time
Though rare, this format may be the most effective for building long-term skills.
🔀 Combo!
Some groups combine all of the above. You might find a group that alternates between game nights, support discussions, and skill-building sessions.
Know of a format I didn’t mention? Let me know in the comments!
Should I start by attending a social anxiety Meetup online or in-person?
Everyone is at a different place in their journey with social anxiety. For some, the thought of meeting in person is out of the question. For them, an online option would be ideal. Other people are triggered by being on camera, or for other reasons just prefer to meet in person.
Here are the top 3 considerations of each format:
💻 Online Meetup
- Ideal if in-person feels overwhelming or nothing local is available
- Some people feel anxious being on camera, so video-optional events are helpful
- Easier to structure gradual exposure (like this):
- Video and audio off – just listen
- Chat only
- Audio on, no video
- Video on briefly
- Full participation
🫵 In-Person Meetup
- Great for those who feel ready or have lower anxiety in real-world settings
- Helps build traditional social skills and routines
- Stronger potential to form friendships or social connections (though that isn’t the group’s main purpose)
How can I get the most out of a Meetup for social anxiety?
Here are my top 3 tips for making your experience positive, whether it’s in-person or online:
🔬 1. Know the Purpose
Read the group description carefully. If it’s vague, message the host.
If you’re hoping to make friends or date, be sure that’s part of the group’s aim. Otherwise, you might be disappointed.
These are understandable goals, but if your group is more of a support group or class, the other attendees may or may not be in your peer group. So if you’re playing the long game, this is a great set-up. But if you’re hoping for instant friendship – or a date for Saturday – you could be disappointed.
💡 2. Keep an Open Mind
First, meetings can stir up anxiety. That’s okay. Remember: everyone else is anxious too.
Also, if you feel anxious after the meeting, remember that is just your social anxiety talking. It’s common to struggle with post-event negativity. Don’t let that stop you from going back!
📢 3. Communicate, Then Show Up
If you RSVP yes and can’t come, let the host know. It helps them plan.
But if you’re only canceling because of nerves?
It’s okay to say nothing. Just showing up is a brave and important first step.
Do I need to pay money to join a Meetup group?
Meetup charges the organizer a subscription fee. Another potential cost for the host is a venue fee. Some organizers may charge to join or attend a group, but some don’t. Sometimes even when there is no charge, donations are collected to defray costs.
As an alternative, I’m building a free platform to help people start support groups, find existing groups in their area, and access everything they need to make those groups successful. It will be similar to Meetup except it will focus on social anxiety disorder and will be entirely free for everyone, including participants and group organizers.
If you are interested in either starting or attending a group in your area you can get more information and register your interest here.
💬 What About You?
Have you been to a social anxiety Meetup? Thinking of trying one? Share your experience in the comments – we’d love to hear from you!
You can read more insights and practical strategies in my other posts.
You can read my complete story in my book.
