From Panic and Despair to Meaningful Living
More Than Shyness is the story of my 40-year journey through—and ultimately beyond—social anxiety. From panic and isolation to years of trial and error with self-help, medication, and therapy, this book shares how I finally found a path toward a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
In the beginning, I tried everything I could think of:
- Following well-meaning advice like “just be yourself,” “face your fears,” and “fake it till you make it”
- Avoiding social situations altogether
- Chasing perfection
- Trying to please everyone
- Reading every self-help book I could get my hands on
None of it worked, at least for very long.
Things began to shift when I discovered my experience had a name—Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). That insight opened the door to more targeted strategies, including:
- Evidence-based therapies like CBT, ACT, and gradual exposure
- Mindfulness and meditation
- Goal-setting
Each approach offered tools and insights that helped, but no single method was the full solution.
In More Than Shyness, I share my personal experience with each of these methods—the breakthroughs, the setbacks, and the practical lessons that helped me move forward.
Why Social Anxiety is So Hard to Overcome
Social anxiety runs deep. It’s not just a single emotion, belief, or personality trait—it’s a system of interconnected fears, memories, and habits, all working together to keep you safe.
In a way, SAD functions like a psychological immune system, trying to protect you from perceived social threats. But in doing so, it can become overly restrictive, preventing you from fully engaging in life. And because it’s trying to protect you, when you fight SAD, it fights back.
If you’ve ever:
- Tried exposure therapy, only to feel your anxiety spike
- Challenged a negative thought, only for ten more to take its place
- Felt exhausted by the cycle of avoidance and shame
Then you’ve seen this firsthand.
Therapy, medication, and self-help can be powerful tools in managing SAD’s symptoms—the anxiety, avoidance, intrusive thoughts, low self-esteem, and shame. But the keyword here is “symptoms.” To truly move beyond social anxiety, you need to go deeper.
Getting to the Root of Social Anxiety
I discovered that beneath my anxiety, avoidance, and other symptoms were a set of deeply ingrained core beliefs:
- I’m not enough. I’m broken and deeply flawed. I don’t belong
- If anyone finds out, it will be catastrophic
- Therefore, I must hide my anxiety and pretend to be “normal”
These weren’t just thoughts; they were felt truths, shaping every interaction and making even the most ordinary social encounters feel like an existential threat.
For me, two key shifts changed everything:
- Understanding These Beliefs – Once I recognized where these beliefs came from and why they existed, they no longer felt like absolute truths. Instead, I saw them as outdated protective mechanisms. With that understanding, my “SAD immune system” naturally began to settle down.
- Rediscovering What Really Matters – SAD acts like a filter, obscuring the things that make life meaningful. For years, I was so focused on my anxiety and shame that I lost sight of who I really was. Reconnecting with my values motivates me to keep going, and life feels more fulfilling.
This Book is About Hope
If you’ve tried different approaches to overcoming SAD and still feel stuck, you are not alone. I’ve been there, and I know how discouraging it can be. But I also know that change is possible.
Inside This Book, You’ll Discover:
- The hidden core beliefs driving social anxiety, and how to change them.
- Why exposure therapy sometimes backfires, and what to do instead.
- How reconnecting with your values can make the difference between staying stuck and breaking free.
- The mindset shifts and practical strategies that finally helped me move beyond SAD.
Looking back, I believe my journey didn’t have to take so long. If I had understood certain key principles earlier, I could have taken a more direct path. That’s why I wrote this book—It’s the book I wish I could have given to my younger self.
Are You Ready to Take the Next Step?
You don’t have to wait until your anxiety is gone to start living. You can start today.
- Get the Book – Learn the insights and strategies that helped me overcome social anxiety.
- Join My Newsletter – Receive encouragement and practical strategies for overcoming SAD.
- Explore the Blog – Find additional tools and insights to support your journey.